28

Pretending skills at a high haha why am I so good at this.
Sigh.
Hate nights like this when I think and overthink everything.
Why can't I just go to bed happy for once.
Why must I sleep feeling so unhappy all the time.
SIGH SIGH SIGH.
Sighed way too much today.

But it really does make me wonder where I stand right now.
Whether I'm still as significant or as important anymore.
And this applies to more than one person how sad.

And have I mentioned that I'm so tired?
So emotionally drained.
Can someone for once lift my feet of the ground and spin me around?
LOL not literally.
But someone just anyone please make me happy again I want to be happy and worry free.
If only I could tell everyone what i'm going through but no I can't
My life is a fucking secret.

Moving on.
Jubilat10n was fun.
Exciting to see the J1s so happy and wishing for more of such events.
Don't worry they're coming.
Hope you guys get to go to Zouk!
Best night everrrrrrr lol.

Kinda did wish us J2s were closer.
Like last year?
When we had the standard/Malay table.
Even though I hated the label, I still enjoyed everyone's company everyday at that table.
And now we're all so segregated and it's sad then some of you guys don't even like each other....
Come on la grow up.....
LOL.
Jealous of the J1s who are all so close.
Secretly wish I could be a part of them lololol haiz.

Ok this blog needs more happy posts.
Will be back when I'm happier ha ha.


XOXO

Sports season in MJ has come to an end.
And I have never been so happy yet so sad.
Happy that MJ has done so well this year,
breaking barriers and making history countless times.
Yet sad that I couldn't be a part of this.
It really hits me how depressing it is to have this heart problem,
this thing called Mitral Valve Prolapse which hinders me from so many things.
Like how I could have continued playing netball in my last two years in TK.
Or how I would have tried out for floorball in MJ.
Or even NAPFA or Road Race or Colloseum.
Feel like such a failure in school and in life.
Like I never achieved anything or made anyone proud.

Hahaha haiz.
Emo nemo forever emo nemo.
But nevertheless,
So proud of all my friends who have done the school proud.
Faty Hilman Amsyar Naufal Hairi Amshar Haziq Syak Amos JJ and many many more la you guys are amazing!!

Now that sports season has ended,
It is time to settle down.
Time to start studying and focusing because A levels is only 5 months from now.
To the J2s, its time to be serious.
And to the J1s, enjoy your J1 life because I really miss mine!

Haha I wonder if anyone reads this hmmm.

XOXO

Been feeling so down lately.
Never in my life have I been so clueless about my own feelings.
Disappointment after disappointment after disappointment.

Hoping and wishing for so many things.
Patience is virtue.
LOLOLOLOLOL

So
Fucking
Tired